Living A Label

So, apparently, I’m considered a “motivator” at work, who is “results-oriented, emotional, and not a team player.”  And, the best part is…I didn’t even need my boss or fellow co-workers to define me as such.  I figured it all out myself, in the matter of minutes, after participating in some stupid “defining work personalities/who I am” activity at a recent work motivational seminar.  This kind of exercise immediately got my mind racing about the whole concept of labeling people.

It’s been going on for years.  Defining who a person is; categorizing their role in life; and hell, even basing people’s love prospects based upon if they use salt more often than pepper, has really gotten out of control.  I don’t know 100% for sure, but I’ll blame psychologists.  Why not, right?  After all, I’m pretty damn certain that there’s not a psychologist in the world that’s reading THIS blog.  

Anyway, psychologists are regularly charged with asking people questions to help unveil some inner, deep, dark secret.  Their mission is to discover something about you. After all you’re paying them $75 an hour.  They ask you what your favorite kind of nut is and your answer is that you like mixed nuts.  The psychologists’ diagnosis?  Because you didn’t mention one nut in particular, you’re labeled as an indecisive person, who harbors some repressed childhood memories, which clearly means you’re a poor decision-maker.  

This kind of labeling practice has worked its way into the workplace.  Employers now hire professional consultants to facilitate trainings to help co-workers understand the different work personalities in the office.  By understanding each other, we’re supposed to be able to better interact and ultimately increase production.  To which I say – get the hell out of here!  Just because I answered that I like the color blue over the color, orange, doesn’t define who I am.  I don’t care if all the charts in the world say that people who select blue are “generally kind-hearted, good listeners, and productive.”  You know what it means?  I like the color blue.   Period. 

I’m a good listener because I have to be.  I’m productive because I want to get paid money.  I’m kind-hearted because if I weren’t, my parents would beat me.  (And, I’m much older now and I’m still scared of my parents).

Maybe, just maybe, we shouldn’t over-analyze folks.  Let’s keep the psychologists and tarot card readers out of the workplace.  Let them dedicate their time to the mentally-ill people who need their attention.  After all, maybe if the doctors had focused more on a person  like Jeffrey Dohmer, we could have prevented him from enjoying his sharp tongue and cold shoulder lunches.

Last I checked – actions speak louder than words. I mean, how people act is a pretty compelling argument about their character.  No matter what that supposed “leader” at work does, if they do something to piss me off, they’re not leading me anywhere.  

And, with all this having been said, my boss is conducting my annual review just next week.  I can’t wait to hear HER “diagnosis.”

Social Networking: Broadcasting Your Every Move

To me, Social Networking is equivalent to the fairy tale, “The Emperor’s New Clothes.” Much like the Emperor’s “invisible clothes” in which he exposes his wares, the various social networking sites allow/influence people to expose themselves as well, which is why I find the whole phenomenon both fascinating and dumbfounding. Now, before I continue writing more, let me confess that I don’t understand/loathe the social networking concept. I’ve never used any of the social networking sites, but am very familiar with their functionality.

To communicate today, people “Twit,” or wait, is it, “Tweet”? The Twit/Tweet will announce to the world the simplest activity such as going food shopping, or what position the person is lying in on their couch. On another site, people collect as many “friends” as they can, and post their friends’ pictures on their site, just so they can brag about their own supposed popularity. And – my personal favorite – Facebook users will broadcast/update their relationship status on their Facebook accounts as soon as the relationship goes sour. Yep, it’s 1:46 a.m. and your buddy, Kevin, just had to login and tell the world that he was single and mobile once again.

I think about all this and think, “who cares?!” Honestly. Now, trust me, I’m hardly an introvert. I just don’t comprehend what makes Joe Citizen want to broadcast his every move. And, I don’t get why Joe Citizen thinks anyone else cares. After all, if you’re eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch, I really don’t care. Just eat the damn sandwich.

Whatever happened to keeping things private? We used to be a society that kept the front window blinds shut to prevent the nosey neighbor across the street from knowing family business. Now, with these social networking sites where we announce every bathroom break and break-up, we’ve not only opened the blinds, but we’ve also given the nosey neighbor a set of binoculars to provide him with a better view.

Now, I know some faithful social networking users will contend that these sites help them better communicate with their friends. They’ll even go one step further, saying these sites have helped them re-connect with “old friends.”

To which, I say – there’s a reason they’re “old friends”. Think about it! If they were that important before, wouldn’t you have stayed in touch with them? They’ve obviously earned their “old friend” title. And, let’s be honest, after you accepted their friend request, you two probably messaged each other one, maybe two times after the initial contact. And then guess what? They then return to the “old friend” status. Hell, Penn and Teller have probably exchanged more dialogue than you and that “old friend.”

I’ll also shoot holes in the “easier to communicate with friends” claim. Has sending an email to your friend gotten too cumbersome? Oh, wait, it hasn’t because usually you’re constructing messages on the Facebook, or Myspace site. So, in essence, communication is the same, NOT easier. The time investment IS THE SAME. Not to mention that you’re probably calling, or texting your same friends all the time anyway. Yes, the same friends that are on your website.

The whole idea of collecting friends from every period of your life just seems like too much work. I have enough friends now, including several friends that I’ve had since college. And, we don’t need a Facebook or Myspace to communicate. What a concept!

So, why do people participate in these social circles? Pressure. I believe it’s the whole “all the cool kids are doing it” mentality. It’s the thought that everyone has one of these sites, so I need to be in the “in crowd” and get one too.

Because my brain isn’t wired that way, I’ll never really understand the relevancy in all this, but hey, different strokes for different folks. Social networking, especially the forums I’ve highlighted, isn’t for me. Thankfully, I’ve avoided, and will continue avoiding these sites. I’m happy doing my own thing, on my own time, without anyone knowing a dang thing.

Oh, and yes, I realize that blogging is a form of social networking, but I assure you that my blogs will merely capture my observations and DEEPLY, SHALLOW THOUGHTS.